What follows is a detailed description of a visitation of our Blessed Virgin Mary. This visitation occurred several months before the passing of my beautiful wife Monica on 1/9/2015.
As a private individual, my preference is to keep this experience only with my wife. That preference was overruled by the benefit sharing it may offer to those battling cancer as a patient, caregiver, or cure seeker. Selfishly there was an added incentive to document this experience by my own fear that over time I may forget some details. Prior to Monica’s passing, she was the only person I spoke directly to regarding the visitation of our Blessed Virgin Mary. Monica had however shared the account with others.
Starting in October 2013 and continuing biweekly for 16 months, Monica and I stayed at the Guest Quarters North hotel located in Zion IL during her chemotherapy treatments. This hotel is owned and operated by a hospital known as: Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA). Our typical stay at the hotel lasted 4 days.
Monica had Stage IV Colon Cancer that metathesized to her liver. Her liver contained a non-operable tumor ~ 6cm surrounding her portal vein between the right and left quadrants of her liver. As part of Monica’s chemo treatments an electronic chemo pump would be attached to her for 46 hours. Since the pump took-up some space, during those treatments Monica & I slept in separate beds while at the hotel.
On a spring night (late May of 2014) while at the hotel, I had a spiritual visit by the Blessed Virgin Mary. The experience was not a dream. I was awake and alert during her visitation.
Around 2:30 am. Monica & I were asleep in separate beds. Tending to be a light sleeper, I easily awake whenever hearing or sensing movement. It was during that time I awoke and remained in bed. Opening-up my eyes, I saw a beautiful lady standing upright next to me, staring down and exhibiting no facial emotions. Immediately I recognized her. It was as if I had once met her long ago. She is the Blessed Virgin Mary. I felt no shock or threats while looking at her. Interestingly, she did not resemble any symbolic images I’ve seen of her before.
The Blessed Virgin Mary never spoke. She stared down at me with large oval-shaped eyes containing large black pupils with no apparent iris, unless they too were black. Her eyes conveyed a sense of openness and warmth. I tried focusing mostly on her facial features and became a bit frustrated. The Blessed Virgin Mary’s face and body were partially being obstructed. Small golden flakes originating from above her head continuously rained down from her. Her facial features appeared to be of Mediterranean descent, consisting of high cheekbones, light-brown skin tone with a warm radiating glow, and a small nose. I’m guessing she was about 5’3” in height, and wore a black garment the full length of her body. Her black hair was partially covered by the garment.
After ~ 30 seconds, the Blessed Virgin Mary slowly turned away from me and moved towards Monica, who was sleeping in the bed next to mine. At this point only the back of the Blessed Virgin Mary was visible to me. I could not determine what the Blessed Virgin Mary was doing as she stood over Monica. I continued looking while questioning myself if I should get out of the bed to find out…
The Blessed Virgin Mary spent about one minute with Monica. Afterwards she turned towards me with her right hand extended towards my neck. She touched the right side of my neck and stroked it twice, starting from just below my right ear lobule and moving downward about two inches. Afterwards she moved a short distance away from me. With her back facing me she vanished.
Immediately I looked at Monica and saw her comfortably sleeping. I wanted to wake her up. First however I needed to compose my thoughts. I decided to wait until Monica woke-up before telling her. I checked the time to gauge how much longer it would be until morning daylight.
Monica woke-up around 9:00 am. By then I had been awake for many hours. My thoughts were to first get us some breakfast before saying anything to her. After breakfast, I remained unsure how to approach Monica about the visit of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I decided holding-off (again) any discussion till later that day. That day passed without any mention of the visitation.
The following morning after breakfast I “casually” mentioned to Monica I saw the Blessed Virgin Mary visit her the prior night. Monica trusted what I told her. She asked many questions, including why I had waited telling her. She was a bit upset with me for not bring this to her attention immediately, but did not dwell on that point. Monica was more interested in the visitation itself. She offered her thoughts as to what it meant, suggesting that she may have been cured. I did not know what it meant, but hoped Monica’s thought was correct. Later that morning we looked for any visible evidence of the Blessed Virgin Mary’s visit – such as fallen gold flake particles on the floor, but saw none.
During the next couple of Months (June & July), Monica’s CEA blood test results (used as a basis for showing the activity of her cancer) were dramatically improving. Her CEA level dropped from the 30’s to 3.9. A CEA level of 3.0 or less is typically considered a normal range for individuals not exhibiting cancer. The tumor in her liver was also shrinking based on MRI & CT scan results. Monica was eating more, energetic, and moving around frequently. Her overall appearance was much improved. Monica’s three primary cancer doctors were thrilled with her progress!
In the latter part of August, Monica became acutely ill. She developed spontaneous bacterial peritonitis, which is a bacterial infection of ascetic fluid within the abdomen. This condition kept Monica in the Troy Beaumont hospital for almost three weeks. She no longer had any appetite, was losing weight, exhibited shortness of breath, and became easily fatigued walking just a few steps. The doctors suspected the cause stemmed from potential cirrhosis, due to the tumor in her liver. Through research I came to understand there was no cure for cirrhosis – short of a liver transplant. Monica did not qualify for a liver transplant given her stage IV cancer. From this point on, Monica required a Paracentesis procedure to remove 5 liters of fluid in the abdominal cavity every 3 to 5 days. This issue also prevented Monica from receiving her bi-weekly chemo treatments for almost two months.
By November Monica was no longer eating and sadly required feeding intravenously via TPN to build-up her strength and weight. I recall the day Monica’s doctor told her of the need for TPN feedings. Tears quickly formed around her sparking eyes. Till this point during our cancer fight, she never had cried about her situation. Her doctor and I tried to comfort her explaining the feed tube would help build-up her strength, but I’m sure we weren’t too convincing. Her cancer fighting spirit had been greatly weakened. Daily I prepared the TPN solution and administered it to her. Monica began to accept the TPN feeding situation in her typical fashion by exhibiting a positive attitude along with her always constant smile. The reality however was that her quality of life had been greatly compromised.
Friday evening January 2, 2015: Our parish Pastor Benjamin Kosnac (Fr. Ben) at Ss. Cyril & Methodius Catholic Church stopped by our house to see Monica. During that visit everyone in the house received Holy Communion. Afterwards, Monica asked for and received confession.
The next morning while Monica and I were awake in bed, she briefly told me about a dream she had that night. In her dream she saw me and said: “Dennis, I’ve been looking for you. Your hair is all gray!” Prior to this, I would always joke with Monica about her having some crazy dreams, but this one bothered me. Did it suggest she would die years earlier than me? Was she thinking the same thing? I did not respond back to her nor ask any questions about the dream, deciding instead to just ignore it. Monica too did not dwell on her dream.
On January 4th Monica and I left our house early morning and traveled to Zion Il. The plan was for her to obtain a Paracentesis procedure later that day and chemo treatments the following day. CTCA decided to admit Monica to the hospital that night w/o giving her the Paracentesis procedure. Monica was provided an IV saline solution to keep her hydrated, some morphine to reduce discomfort and plenty of ice chips to quench her thirst. She was very happy and smiling, explaining how nice it felt to use her teeth to bite down on the ice. Prior to this she had not chewed on anything in over two months!
The morning of January 5th. I went to see Monica in the hospital. She appeared to be sleeping, so quietly I left the room. An hour later I arrived back and was stopped by her nurse. The nurse explained that Monica complained earlier about weakness on her right side. I asked the nurse if she should be treated for potential stoke. Monica was not awake at this time. A few hours later a decision was made to heliport Monica to a trauma level 1 hospital 40 miles way that was better equipped to treat her condition.
I drove to the new hospital (Advocate Lutheran General) and immediately was met by two neurosurgeon who just completed a scoping procedure on Monica. The doctors explained that Monica’s Right carotid artery (provides blood to the right side of the brain) was 100% blocked, while her left carotid artery was completely clear. In essence Monica had suffered a massive stroke to the right side of her brain. They could not remove the blockage, fearing it would cause additional harm. Instead, Monica was put on high blood pressure medication in-hope the additional blood flow from the left side of her brain reached her brain’s right side. Prior to Monica’s stroke she’d been taking a blood thinner medication, but recently was unable to keep the pills down.
Monica was relocated to the neurological ICU unit within the hospital and provided exceptional care. Gradually she became alert, but could barely speak. Gratefully, Monica had not experienced any pain while in the ICU. I explained to Monica that she suffered a life-threating stroke. Mostly we communicated to each other by me asking her questions. She would respond by squeezing my finger to indicate a yes/no response.
After two days in the ICU, Monica’s alertness was becoming infrequent. She was no longer able to speak. Her ability to squeeze my fingers became difficult. The doctors said the blood pressure mediation was losing its effectiveness and soon would fail. Monica was aware of her situation.
My wife who meant more to me than myself would not recover and soon would die.
The medical staff asked if all measures to keep Monica alive should be extended to her. I was prepared for this question. Monica would want to die in comfort and dignity, and I told this to her doctors. I also asked them not to remove the life-prolonging medication from her yet! I needed more time to be with my wife in private.
Monica was still able to barely communicate with me and I asked her if she would like me to fly our children to be with her. She did not want our children to come but wanted to see her mother and sister. I knew Monica really yearned to see her children. Knowing Monica, I suspect she felt it was more important our children have more positive ever-lasting images of her.
I hugged and kissed Monica while explaining to her how much I love her. As I sat next to her, I said a simple prayer and asked GOD to release my Guardian angel to help guide my wife to heaven when that moment came.
Slowly, Monica started to drift-away into a state of unconsciousness, never to reawake.
My hope was Monica could still hear everything going on around her. I phoned each of our children to update them on their mother’s condition, letting them know my phone was on speaker setting. I placed the phone next to Monica and asked each child to let mom know how much they love her, the type of person they hoped to grow-up to be, and to thank her for all she’s done for them. I knew Monica heard them because a saw a tear drop form. Several hours later, I called each child-up to repeat the process, just in-case they forgot to tell mom something the first time. Each child did have more to say.
I was informed that Monica’s mother and sister were flying out to see Monica the next night. I told Monica’s doctors to continue providing her the blood pressure medication until her mother and sister arrived.
On the fourth day in the ICU – which would become Monica’s last full day on earth, I obtained a Catholic priest to administer the Last Rights to her. I made sure Monica was wearing her Catholic Scapular, which she constantly reminded me in past years the importance of wearing when someone was dying.
Throughout that day, I was in continuous prayer close to Monica so she could hear every word. Sometime around noon, I began praying a series of Hail Mary’s. Halfway through praying a Hail Mary I suddenly stopped. I recalled the memory of the visitation I had months earlier from the Blessed Virgin Mary, when she stroked the right side of my neck.
I had just connected one of the dots related to that visitation!
Monica and I had never understood the reason why our Blessed Mary touched the right side of my neck before disappearing. It now became apparent to me!
Our Lady was letting me know of the pending carotid artery blockage on Monica’s Right-side. I also realized her actions would serve as an additional sign that the visitation of her had been real. Immediately I shared with Monica what I just realized. I then resumed praying for my wife’s preparation into Heaven.
Later that night Monica’s sister Michelle arrived at the hospital, unfortunately her mother’s flight was cancelled due to bad weather conditions. I discussed with Michelle what was to follow.
For several minutes I held my wife’s hand, recalling positive moments we shared and the immense love I’ll always retain for my wife. With complete trust in GOD, I contacted Monica’s doctors to begin the process of slowly taking her off the blood pressure medication which would result in death. Monica would be provided morphine and oxygen to ease her transition.
The last several of hours of Monica’s life on earth went much too quickly. Michelle and I recited together many prayers next to Monica, including the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy – which Monica taught me should be said for the dying.
During our last hour together, my wife and I were face-to-face with our foreheads touching as I continued praying. Michelle had stepped out of the room for a brief period of time, perhaps to permit me an opportunity to speak with my wife in private. I reassured Monica of her husband’s fidelity, his everlasting boundless love towards her, his appreciation for being a devoted loving wife, and the gift of our children.
I asked Monica to be there for me when my time comes.
Moments before Monica’s passing, a clear image of my brother Rick flashed through my mind. Rick had died 25 years ago from Leukemia. Perhaps he was now with us, reassuring me that Monica would be ok.
The final seconds before Monica passed away, I kissed her. It was our last earthly kiss together. I kissed Monica, Marie (St. of Smiles) once again as her first kiss in Heaven.
EPILOGUE:
Ten minutes after Monica’s entry into Heaven on January 9th 2015 at 2:47 a.m. CT, her husband released the following electronic message:
It is finished…
God has deemed Monica’s life serving His will to be fulfilled.
Her everlasting life in Heaven begins!
Yet I grieve with a broken and bleeding heart for my children’s loss,
I thank God he gave me my blessed wife.